My Curtailed Shopping Trip

Well, that was a masterclass in starting the day badly. The universe had it in for me today.
I drove to Aldi, parked up, switched off the engine… and immediately attacked myself. Not metaphorically—properly jabbed a finger straight into my eye before I'd even managed to open the door. An impressive display of coordination, considering I wasn't even trying.
The eye reacted as you'd expect—rage, betrayal, tears. Both eyes went red, making it look as though I'd just received devastating news in the car park. I tried blinking it away, as if the problem might politely leave if I ignored it. It didn't.
After a few minutes of sitting there, half-blind and reconsidering my life choices, I decided that perhaps grocery shopping wasn't for me today. Driving, however, still was—so off I went, squinting heroically into the sunshine like a man who'd lost a fight with his own hand.
I made it home, which felt like an achievement worthy of a small medal, and staggered inside in search of the colloidal silver—because nothing says 'I've got this under control' like rummaging for remedies after poking yourself in the eye for no reason at all.
It's now late afternoon. The eye still stings, though less dramatically—more of a lingering grudge than outright fury.
I, meanwhile, am left shaking my head at the sheer elegance of the manoeuvre. 😂
Of all the ways to injure myself, that felt unnecessarily creative.
I won't be doing it again anytime soon. Mainly because I still have no idea how I managed it in the first place. 😂